Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Hello there.

While I'm writing this I am sitting in my bed in a room that I will only be living in for a couple more weeks. Only 20-years-old, still in my undergraduate degree, but about to embark on a great adventure. Like all of you, I have been going through many changes, but the major ones are still ahead of me.

I am originally from Orlando, Florida, where my parents still live. I moved up to Tallahassee in 2007 to get my degree in Social Work, which I am finishing up this summer. I have spent much of my time in college attempting to find real community with genuine people, which I have found to be a difficult task. At the beginning of this past summer I found a group of friends that wanted the same thing, and by the end of the summer I was dating one of them. That happened to be Annie's brother, which is how Annie and I became friends.

The carefree summer ended, and with that ending came the beginning of a strenuous semester. The semester brought many new and difficult circumstances that began shaping me for where God is taking me now. I was attempting to do an internship, classes, work, and have my first real relationship. It proved to be a much harder semester than I anticipated.

My internship was working with victims of domestic violence, and ended up teaching me more than I ever learned in my classes. I had to learn how to take care of myself amidst taking care of others. I had to explore my own experiences of emotional and verbal abuse from my family. And most of all, I had to learn how to not hold onto the problems of the women I was helping, and truly believe that God is sovereign and in control. Beyond just my internship I was dealing with the ending of my relationship, the loss of friendships, and trying to understand what God was doing in everything.

Now I am in limbo. I am about to finish the semester, but I have an enormous transition ahead of me.

On January 6, my flight leaves for London. I'll be interning at another agency working with domestic violence victims, and will be living in a city for four months where I don't know a single soul. When I return, I'll be finishing classes over summer, graduating, and looking to move out of the state, where again I won't know anyone.

I have been on a search for community, and instead found God, coaxing me to let go of my need for people, and simply go on an adventure with him. I laugh as I write this because he knows me so well. He knows that I am terrified of being alone, and of stepping into the unknown. And yet he has given me a desire to know him more than ever, and to say, "Here I am, send me." And so I look to the near future with excitement and anticipation for what he has in store.

I am delighted that we have the opportunity to do this, and I have already loved to hear your stories. I look forward to having meaningful conversation and getting to know you all even more.


jenna said...

Wow, you really do have some pretty exciting (and I would imagine pretty frightening) changes quickly approaching! It is going to be so incredible to see all of the adventures our God has in store for you!

annie said...

Um. This is good stuff: "I have been on a search for community, and instead found God." I firmly believe God designed us for community (hence this endeavor), but He wants us to commune with Him first. I think this lesson might be the best one you've learned all semester.

Cory said...

oh, i'm so excited about this entire venture. thanks for sharing, and i have every belief that this will be the beginning of a joyous journey for you.