Thursday, December 10, 2009

and one more...

Girls, already your posts are proving that this little endeavor is indeed going to be a blessing. I see in you so much of our Father, and the way He’s working in your stories is amazing evidence of His goodness.

I feel like my life is constantly at a crossroads, at that proverbial fork where I am supposed to choose: the road less-traveled or… The road too-traveled, I suppose.

In May, I’ll come to yet another bend. Jordan will graduate from law school, and I’ll make the transition from law student’s wife to lawyer’s wife. I don’t think words could adequately express how badly I want to postpone that switch. After all, we’re talking about a girl who still uses her old debit card just so she can sign her former last name on Lowe’s receipts. (Please don’t tell on me. It’s pathetic, I know.)

The point is, just when I find contentment in my place and purpose, God moves me. To a new town, a new job, a new life stage. I suppose it’s His way of telling me that true contentment only comes from Him.

So, I’m learning to just live. Because, as is evidenced by the previous chapters in my story, God always comes through. May will arrive, and change will arrive with it. Or it may not. It’s hard to say what scares me more: the thought of moving and starting over, or the thought of not.

But either way, my God will pull me through; He will transition me through the ups and downs. That's just who He is.

He has made me to be an adventure-seeker. Not the climb-rocks-and-jump-out-of-buildings kind of adventure. More like the what-can-I-do-to-make-this-day-awesome kind of adventure. I just celebrated my one year anniversary with my husband and my 10-year-anniversary with Jesus (the two best kinds of adventure). I am a lover of stories. Can’t get enough and will take them in any format, as evidenced by my Google Reader. (Though I should interrupt to say: nothing beats the feel of paper to skin.) I’m in the throes of graduate school applications in the hopes that my acceptance will assuage this steady “what’s next?” feeling I keep having. And my family is more important to me than I could ever write here.

My background is journalism, and my day job is a theme and variation thereof. After a not-so-great job, then turning down what I thought was my dream job, I feel pretty happy here in my little office, writing and editing law-related news stories. God knew how much I could handle, and after months of praying for a new gig, He gave me one, and I love it.

When I'm not editing a piece until my eyes bleed, I dabble in graphic design, interior d├ęcor, and the ever-elusive art of homemaking. I wish I could sing, play guitar, and drink hot chocolate while channelling Thoreau and writing the next great American novel in my house by a lake in Massachusetts. Until that happens, though, I’m content in Tallahassee, learning to be the best version of myself. Even though I don’t always know what that means.

chew* is my effort at maintaining Anne-and-Diana friendships while stretching my brain to accept new possibilities, spiritual and otherwise.


Lindsey said...

I love to be in the lives of other explorers that love to find the adventure in our everyday lives. I think it might be the best way to live. And I'm so very excited to see what happens in the next part of your story. I know that wherever and whatever it is, you will make it your own, and find God working through it. And that makes me smile to think about.